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The magic puffer conspiracy from Strikeforce Houston

Most of you watched Strikeforce Houston and had to manually pick your jaws up off the floor at the tail-end of some considerable upsets. Between Fedor earning his first loss back in June, and Bobby Lashley & King Mo both earning their first L of their professional careers last night, it seems that the organization's most marketable fighters have all reminded us why betting on MMA is probably the most irresponsible thing you could do with your rent money. I woke up this morning (broke) and the first thing I did was line my baseball cap with tin foil so my brain waves would be safe from government intruders. In fact, I didn't even wear my usually Yankees cap, I'm actually wearing a tin foil-lined Phillies cap just to be even more incognito as I write this article in my bathtub. It's one of those mornings where I've confirmed a sizable conspiracy, and as it unfolds, I have to be secretive so that Texas State Athletic Commission doesn't send journalistic-assassins after me.